First knock of death in my head! and then others

The first death and earliest experience of death in life was that of a neighbour whom everybody called chachi . I didnt see her dying. She had died half a minute before. Those were the days shen T.B was thought to be incurable and fatal. She would be around 50 years or probably less at that rime. We saw her coughing and spitting all the time in an alumunium spittoon. She rarely moved out of the room, most of the time sitting on her haunches on a wooden cot raised with 3 layers of bricks to the window level. Sometime she would descend from her cot to the floor..


My Aunt Husna was the only person among the neighbours and their relatives who would give her company against the advise of many.
She would say "kisi sey nafrat aur ghin nahi karna chahiye "one should not or be averse to anybody for these reasons". " jo hota hai Allah key hukum sey hota hai"i.e Whatever happens happens by the will of Allah"
My Aunt was a very plain, simple,kindhearted and God fearing person.

Regretfully the events and circumstances leading to the death of my aunt still makes me sad and remorseful and sombre.

It is nearly 25 years when she died. It was a couple of days before Eid festival when she began to writhe with pain in her left arm and chest.

She lay on the floor writhing in pain and whimpering all the time. Father had no money on him to bear the expenses of doctor or medicine. We would give her PUDINHARA capsules and husk of flax seeds thinking that the gas must be resulting from gas..

For every second of the 48 hours she lay writhing and whimpering, day and night. She was lying on a separate bedding next to me when I went to sleep. It was probably 2 o'clock in the morning when I woke up to the sound of loud thud and sound of deep blow of air. I saw aunt face down fallen. She had been to the toilet.

I shouted plaintively " bari amma ko kya ho gaya" " bari amma ko kya ho gaya" meaning "what
has happened to bari amma'

Father asked me to go to Islamia Hospital at Chitranjan Avenue and fetch a doctor.

I wondered how "How I am going to address him?, What should I say? . Now suppose if he losses his temper? I formulated words and sentences and kept rehearsing till I reached the hospital.

A couple of junior doctors from the hostel readily and matter of factedly accompanied me home. They declared aunt dead. Sobs turned into cries.
Male members rushed in different in different direction carrying the message of aunt's death to relatives and acquaintences.

The mourners and her body was carried in an open lorry to Sola aana graveyard at Kidderpore where she was burried. The memoirs of graveyards is bit hazy can't say why.

Aunt stayed with us along with her daughter eversince uncle's untimely death. She was dependent on father.

My heart sank as we returned from the graveyard. I wont see Aunt anymore .Memories of the past came like heavy blocks of rocks on my being- my head, my heart my stomach, my leg my sole. I could defintely feel every organ and limb sad and exhausted like me.